Saturday, 21 July 2018

I Was Raped

According to the CSEW 5 in 6 victims did not report their sexual assault that's 83%. That would make me the 1 in 6 that did report my sexual assault. Below is my story I have changed the names of the people involved apart from my own. I'm sharing my story to show you that each case is different and that there is a light at the end of the dark tunnel. I have split my story up to make it easier to digest and also easier for me to write.

I had just turned 17 I was living with my (ex)husband in Germany and I was enjoying having a pretty care free life. My (ex)husband was in the Army and was being sent away on an exercise, he had asked his friends to pop in on me make sure I was ok whilst he was away, I was suffered with panic attacks.

His friend who I will call Dave was popping by one night for a few drinks and to watch crappy TV, he asked me if it was ok if his two friends Steve and Bob could also come along. I agreed and saw no harm in it, we were all around the same age and I had grown up around squaddies, I found I got on well with them as I got the humour and the lifestyle. So Dave, Steve, Bob and me sat in my flat having a couple of drinks which were leftover from my party, we listened to music played stupid drinking games and just being teenagers. As it got late Dave left leaving Steve and Bob behind, Steve and Bob were both pretty drunk although in hindsight I think Bob had been less drunk than he had been making out. I offered my spare room and sofa to them and took myself off to bed.

I was woken up, at first I couldn't work out what it was waking me up I just felt uncomfortable. It took a few seconds to realise what was happening, I was being raped. Bob was on top of me I didn't know what to do I just laid there wanting to scream, I wish I had had the strength to push him off but I was scared. I kept my eye's closed wishing it would just end, I kept thinking about all the crime programme's I had watched and how so many of the women were beaten or killed. I did think if I moved he might of tried to kill me after all he was raping me he could of been capable of anything. Time seemed to standstill until eventually it came to and end, well the rape anyway. He laid in my bed next to afterwards called me a fucking slut and went to sleep. I didn't dare move until I knew he was asleep.

When I was certain he was asleep I grabbed my house phone and went into my spare room locking the door behind me. I was shaking, sobbing and felt sick how could this happen to me? what did I do to deserve this? Those questions start straight away. I used my house phone to text Dave begging him to come and get Bob out of my flat. It took a while for him to respond but he eventually came back, he knew that something wasn't right. When Dave got to mine I told him what had happened he then woke up Steve and told him. I wanted him gone I wanted them all gone but it was hours before they left, I stayed in my spare room the whole time. I don't know for sure but I think Dave told Bob and I think that is when Bob started his story and getting the boys to have his back. I could hear them talking but couldn't hear what they were saying, they made themselves some food and even nipped to the shop for some cigarettes. Meanwhile I sat on my spare bed feeling sick and disgusted, eventually they all left. The minute they all left I cried harder than I had ever cried before.

I tried to ring my Husband but with him being away I couldn't get hold of him. I then rang his brother to ask if his Dad could get me a number (his dad was ex army same battalion). His brother could hear in my voice I was hiding something but I couldn't tell them what would they think? But his brother had said something to his Dad which made him ring me back. I broke down on the phone and I told him what had happened. He rang the military police.

Before the police got to me I had a few fellow solider's contact me, one asked me how I was doing the other told me Bob had gone back to camp and bragged about what he had done. I felt humiliated. Everyone knew. When the police arrived my friend and her mum were with me as they were dropping some stuff off for me, they were going to find out anyway so I told them. My friends mum packed me some clean clothes and told me I could stay with them until my husband got back. I can never thank her enough.