Monday, 2 October 2017

Blogtober: Babies

The 9th-15th of October is baby loss awareness week. Below I have shared in brief about my losses before having my two children. I had always wanted children and had always thought it was a simple process. After two late miscarriages one miscarriage at 8 weeks a 12 week premature baby and having to have my daughter sewn in I have changed my views. Pregnancy is hard and God damn scary.

I'm a mum of 4 children, sadly two of them never got to walk this earth. I was 18 when I had my first pregnancy, I found out when I was around 12 weeks. I remember feeling scared but excited when I was 18 weeks pregnant I woke up late one morning and when I went to the toilet there was blood and a lot of it, I haemorrhaged and was rushed to hospital. I had to be induced to give birth to my son, Anthony-Lee. Soon after I was taken for emergency surgery as I had a retained placenta and started heavily bleeding, narrowly missed having a transfusion. I was heart broken and instantly hated every pregnant woman including one of my best friends who I couldn't even speak to.

Just under a year later I became pregnant again. This time I was more scared but I followed all the rules and advice. During a walk to the shop one night to buy something to satisfy my craving my waters broke, I was 17 weeks. The feeling of dread washed over me and I felt sick. I was taken to hospital, scanned and monitored to see if my waters would build back up. I Googled everything looking for any kind of hope. I was told there was nothing they could do and to let them know when I was ready to be induced. I couldn't believe I was losing my baby, again. I had only felt my baby moving hours before. I was again induced and had another beautiful baby boy, Leon.

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