Wednesday, 27 February 2013

The Start Of A Old Chapter

Hi well umm I 'm not too sure on how these work if I'm totally honest with you. A fellow blogger who is practically my sister suggested I blog so I'm going to give it a shot. My life has changed very quickly in the past 3 years actually since 2006. I will give you the background of my life maybe then in future blogs will you understand me better. I find it very hard to talk and open up to people, I never used to so I'm hoping by doing this and getting some support from readers I will become the Jade I once was.

So I will start with 2006 I met a guy called Dan and he was alright a bit of a bad lad but not the worst I had dated, he was 19 and I was 16 he joined the army and asked me to marry him!!! He explained that with him being in the army he would be moving to Cyprus and wanted me to go with him but we could only do this if we were married. I know your think wow thats young and yes it was but ask any 16 year old if they want to have a place of their own in another country that is why I married him not because I loved him. I did hope we would eventually fall in love which guess at some point I did. In January 2007 we moved but not to Cyprus :( but to Germany. This is where my life completely changed. I was on my own most the time when he was working but I didn't care I could sleep till whenever and do what I wanted when I wanted which suited me fine. In April 2007 our relationship hit a big problem and I became a different person, I had a party for my 17th and he invited friends which was good I had made some friends that came also. The morning of my birthday he went away on an exercise he had asked a friend to stay with me so I wasn't alone we had a mini party all of them were called Dean I would but all there last names but I won't. That night my I wish the mini party never happened the guys were drunk so I set up the spare room and the sofa for them and off to bed I went. This is the event that started the problems in my marriage, I was raped in my own flat in my own bed, hundreds of miles away from home and no one to help me. I won't go into details of the rape I still find it hard to talk about. As you can imagine I was a mess when the police got involved a couple hours after it happened I was treated like a common slapper they accused me of lying and asked loads of questions trying to trip me up (army police always look after there own) Now maybe you are thinking the same but let me just say this anyone who knows me knows I would never ever lie about something like this but long story short he got away with it despite all the evidence against him and I had to live the next 5 years of my life in his company with his smugness (I must mention some of the evidence was from his friend saying how he was bragging about what he did). 

I know this is a lot to read about someone but I feel I need to tell my background before I can write about my life now. After the rape my husband was angry but he couldn't get to the guy that did this then he started to second guess me we had a row one night over this he told me I was a lying whore and I should go f**k everyone else then this is when he first ever hit me. Which little did I know at the time would become a regular thing of course I hardly ever rang the police or told anyone because after a while I began to think I deserved it. I will try and keep the next 5 years short as not too many major things happened I was hit regularly and because of that I lost 3 babies a boy in 2008 at four months preg after being kicked in the belly while he had his Army boots on, the second in 2009 also around 4 months after being thrown there a cabinet and pinned against the wall and smacked a few times. We lived back in England in 2009 and I called the police but he turned on the tears told me he loved me he was sorry etc etc I had heard it so many times but stupidly I believed him and didn't take it any further. The 3rd baby I was 5 weeks preg I woke up for work and knew I was losing the baby the night before we had had a fight things were thrown and fist. I had had enough I needed to get out I couldn't cope with the violence and the lying and cheating he was doing I had to get away from him, and thats what I did in 2011.

His name was Craig I knew him from Germany he was in the Army and had helped when Dan had beat me up in the pub because I caught him cheating with a 16 year old at this point he was 22. Craig was over in England we started texting and talking over facebook he said everything right was so nice to me and we had feelings for each other in Germany and now we were picking up on them again. I had planned a weekend in wales with him I had help from a women a had met I stayed at hers with Craig and this was the weekend I left Dan. I became strong enough with Craig's help to leave him, I will never be able to thank him enough for giving me the strength to do this. Me and Craig were together a couple of Months but as much as we wanted it to work it wasn't working partly because of a third person by the name of steph. Craig and me have remained friends. Now we have had a quick overview of my past I will let you know about now.

Now I'm with Liam he is great he makes me laugh and I enjoy spending time with him he is younger then me but maybe going for the older guys was where I went wrong. We have a baby together (not planned but very wanted when we found out) Jared-David is the name of our perfect little baby I will write more about him in later posts. Liam and me we work we can talk about our problems and we always support each other we hardly argue and if we do its over something so silly and not even important and although it pains me to admit mostly its because of my weird OCD that I get moody with him.

I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog and I didn't bore you I will update in due time much love readers.

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