Firstly I want to apologise for the long delay in posts. Things have been a little crazy in our household. I have been busy with work and running around here there and everywhere. The other day I had another check on my cervix to make sure it was doing it job, the appointment got off to a bad start as the consultant was running late then the midwife told apologised and explained there had been a lot of pregnant ladies with problems today. I think this is when I knew my appointment wasn't going to be great. As I laid on the bed looking at the grainy screen I knew that my cervix didn't look the same as last time and that is when the consultant went "hmmm things have changed".
I was asked to go and empty my bladder so they could double check and they brought the other consultant in to re-scan me. Yep things had changed my cervix was just under average size the first time I was scanned and now it had shortened by 9mm, I could see a little v type shape at my cervix where it was giving a little. This was very emotional for me and made worse by pregnancy hormones but I didn't have time to sit and feel sorry for myself, this came later. The consultant spoke through a few options with us and we had to decide what we thought was the best action to take. We went for a walk and spoke through what each of us felt would be right and we choose to go ahead with having the cervical stitch put in, which would happen the same day.
At around 6pm I was taken and prepared for the operation, Liam was allowed to stay with me the whole time which I was thankful for otherwise I don't think I would of got through it. As Liam and I have established nothing is ever easy with us, during the preparation I began to just shake I think it was more out of fear but due to me shaking they couldn't get the cannula in right and I squirted blood over myself at which point I Liam said I went really pale and he thought I was going to pass out. I didn't pass out which I'm still trying to work out if that was a good or bad thing, I had spinal anaesthetic which I was petrified about having. If you are reading this and you are about to have this then I do apologise as I'm not going to sugar coat it, the needle going into my spine was massive it hurt a lot and it hit a nerve which really hurt and made my back twinge a little. From this experience I will never ever have an epidural nor will I have a needle jabbed into my spine again!!! They carefully laid me down and kept asking me to try and raise my legs each time I could fear would wash over me that I would have to endure that awful needle again. Finally I was numb and wheeled through the door into theatre.
I was shaking uncontrollably partly from my fear but the surgical team explained this was normal as my body was losing heat and trying to figure out why it couldn't feel it anything below it's ribs. Liam got a lovely seat next to me I told him that he was to stay looking at me and no further downwards, I wasn't bothered about him seeing down there I was bothered that he may look freaked out and make me feel even more scared. There was a moment of humour just before the whole operation got into full swing, the lady surgeon told me that I might feel tugging and pulling as she was just having a rummage to which I said please don't use the word rummage when your down that way. I mean I'm not on cash in the attic, I found it a strange word to use in this situation. So my legs were place up high and wide and the operation began. I couldn't feel any pain just things moving and pulling at me which is so bizarre. I'm not sure how long it took but I know it wasn't long I think the whole process was around 30-40mins. Everything went well and baby is sewn in until eviction day.
I'm now recovering from the operation the first 24hours I spent in hospital it took about 5 hours for my legs to fell fully normal again. I haven't had any pain just a bit of discomfort and I can't walk for too long at the moment as it gets uncomfortable but in time I will be back to normal. I had a weird side effect from the spinal anaesthetic and I itched all over for a day it was horrible and I nearly made myself bleed from scratching. Again if you are reading this and may need or are having a stitch put in then just know that you will bleed afterwards and it is normal but it will get better and stop.
Thursday, 24 March 2016
Saturday, 5 March 2016
So, as you may know, me and Jade are expecting our second child. When a women is pregnant it can be quite easy for the man to feel left out or distant. The woman carries the baby, the woman is the first to feel the baby move, at the midwife appointments and scans it is all focused on the woman and the baby. Which although this is the most important thing, it can make the guy feel useless or a "third wheel"
Now due to our Son being born at 28 weeks we are under 2 consultants at the hospital and the midwife. This means a lot of appointments and scans. Now if you and your partner are currently having a child then I would strongly advise that you try and actively get involved in to appointments. Ask questions, whether you think they sound silly or not, make sure you make time to go to all the appointments, and most of all, remember that your partner will be hormonal, she will cry randomly, she will get agitated about little things but all you need to do is be there for her, remind her that she's not on her own.
Making plans together is extremely important, once you know the sex of the baby go out together and pick outfits for the baby together, design the baby's bedroom as a couple. This has made me feel like I am more involved in the pregnancy, it feels like we are on the journey together.
Despite what people say the hardest part of a relationship is when your are going through a pregnancy, the increased hormones, stress and nerves culminate and can quite easily boil over if not addressed in the right way. I have tried to take time out of my day just to cuddle Jade and remind her that she is not on her own, remind her that I will always be here dry her tears if she is crying or to laugh along with her when she's happy. We have stuck by each other through a lot of problems in the past as I'm sure a lot of you have. Jade is my rock, my best friend, and someone who I owe my whole future too.
So to wrap it up, the best way for a guy to feel like he is involved during the long 9 month wait is to just be there for your partner, make sure you compliment her, keep her smiling, make her life as stress free as possible.