Sunday, 11 August 2013

Time to deal with it

I have a big problem, a medical problem. The thing is I'm letting it ruin everything it controls what I do and it shouldn't. I have only just started to let some people know and now I'm writing this post in hope that it can either help me (maybe a solution) or help others who may have it, let them know they aren't alone.

What I have is Hirsutism. It is horrible and I hate it so much. I have had this for about 7/8 years but only knew what it was called about 3 years ago. Basically what it is, is where I get excessive hair growth the hair is thick and dark. When it first started I just thought it was normally as I had it on my thighs, it was easy to cover so didn't bother me too much. I just made excuses up not to do PE at school!! I was so worried people would notice and make fun of me, I found school hard anyway as I never seemed to fit in. As I began to live with it I noticed it was now on my stomach, again was easy to hide just meant I stopped wearing clothes that would show some of my belly off. As the hair got darker I decided to shave it. I wish it could of stopped there I could live with that it was easy to hide and I kinda got used to my routine of hiding it and covering it up. Now it's not so easy to hide and cover up.

I now have it on my face (chin and sideburn area) my neck and my chest. It really gets me down. I feel like a freak. When I spoke to a doctor three years ago the advice was to just shave it off nothing else could be done. I now have to shave my face every other day as it grows back pretty quickly. If you have this you will know what I mean and sort of how I feel. I have considered killing myself as it affects me that much, sounds drastic doesn't it?! But think about this I have to wear my hair down or at least have hair down that hide the sides of my face, I feel ugly and less of a woman because I have to shave my face. It has really knocked my confidence. I rarely bother to make an effort with how I look now, and it is affecting my relationship. Liam is totally understanding and he still says I'm beautiful (which is nice) but it doesn't matter how many times he tells me this, it doesn't matter. How I feel won't change until I do!! Having this problem is one of the causes to me putting weight on as I don't really go out anywhere unless its a day trip or I have to go out. I was on anti depressants and I'm considering going back on them as it gets to me that much. I'm going to see a doctor this week and beg for some help as shaving isn't a solution it just makes it worse.

If you are reading this and you have this also and feel alone I would be happy to speak to you it might help us both (email jadelikessheep2@gmail.com) or if your a doctor/plastic surgeon and can help me then I would be happy to hear from you. I'm 23 years old and know I have to live with this until I die which is years away so if there is anything that can make the rest of my life easier by getting rid of this then I want it please. I have also looked for medical trials but found none, maybe I was looking in the wrong place.

Thank you for reading this and I hope this will help someone even if it isn't me. This has been very hard to talk about and share as I know people who know me will read this some who know about most don't. Some people might be nasty but I don't know how I'm going to cope with this anymore. I cry nearly everyday over this. Please no hateful comments xxx

More information on Hirsutism