Wednesday, 15 May 2013

I feel so lost

This week I feel like I'm losing control. I don't like this at all. I have felt a bit down and cross with myself and today is the worst of it, main reason is my university course. This degree is something I want I mean really really want. Time is never on my side and I fall behind, my current and last essay of this academic year is due in just over a week and I haven't even read the chapters required to answer the question. So yeah I'm kind of winging it, thing is if I have to re do it all I will be so upset and will lose all motivation to carry on. You might be reading this and thinking "well she doesn't have a job how does she not have the time" I shall answer this for you. When Liam is at work I have Jared and I need to keep him occupied, fed, bum changed all those mummy things, I could read and do my computer work whilst in between my mummy actions but I have a house to keep tidy and clothes to get cleaned and dried for my boys. I have tried to do my work during the day while Jared is happily playing but I can't give my work 100% of my attention due to babies wanting to play with everything they shouldn't and banging their heads and falling down while trying to stand. I'm trying so hard to get all this done and make time for Liam and myself, I wish I could get marks towards my essay just for that. It has also came at an awkward time of the year as I have had a lot going on, the anniversary of my grandad passing and Jared's first birthday coming up. Time is never on my side I think the only way I can solve this is not sleeping. Cranky Jade with a baby and a Liam....... hmmm I think that would be a bad idea. 

Sorry for the bummed out post but I needed to get it out there, maybe you can suggest something xxx